FANG
by XxiheartmaxridexX
Summary: Fang leaving did a lot of damage to the Max,the flock and to himself. But it was for the best, right? Though often, what happens for the best isn't actually what we want. – How do the flock and Max cope with Fang's absense? It is really for the best?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 **

'_Now all our memories they're haunted, we were always meant to say goodbye.'_

**Fang. **

I made my way through the crowd towards the person I knew and loved most in the world. Max. She was looking totally un-max-like in an elegant, satiny dress, with her hair pulled back into a smooth ponytail, jigging to the music and grinning from ear to ear. I glanced quickly around and surveyed the big hall where the reception party was being held and saw all the faces that I recognized as the people that I loved and knew cared about me.

All the people I was about to leave.

Nudge was tripping ungracefully over her feet and swaying slightly as she waved ecstatically at me from across the dance floor. I wondered if she was slightly drunk from the champagne that Max's Mom had kindly provided. Gazzy and Iggy certainly were and both were now dancing ridiculously to a new pop song that was blaring out on the tall speakers stacked in the corners of the hall.

Total was practically glued to Akila's side, with a toothy smile plastered to his face which was currently covered in the frosting from his wedding cake. Despite all the odds, Akila and Total had stuck together and were now a happy little couple; I envied them for it. I didn't think Max and I would be quite so lucky. And Angel was talking quietly to Max's Mom and I wondered briefly if she knew of my intentions.

I reached Max and she smiled up at me as I stood next to her and my heart turned cold as I thought about what I was about to do. She looked so happy and so free. A woman had come to our house and done all our hair and (for the girls) makeup and the flock all looked gorgeous. I, myself was wearing a smart dark suit and had had my hair cut.

"You staying much longer?" I asked, raising my voice a bit to be heard over the music.

Max laughed and said "Hey, don't ruin it! I'm having fun for once!"

I held up my hands, gave a false smile and said "Okay, its fine with me if you stay but I might head back. Partying and wedding dances aren't really my style. I'll see you when you get back" A lie.

She brushed past my statement of seeing her later thinking nothing of it and said, "Well wedding dresses aren't exactly my style either, but I'm the one having to wear one!"

"Yeah…Well, anyway, Goodbye", I said awkwardly not exactly knowing quite what to do. I wanted to kiss her, for the last time, but knowing it would just complicate things and make both of us feel worse, I settled for wrapping my arms around her instead and gave another false smile.

This couldn't be any harder.

I flew back to our house my mind blazing. Too many thoughts clamored to be heard at once and my heart was pounding, so by the time I landed on our familiar balcony I was shaking with adrenaline and nerves at the cruel stunt I was about to pull off: my disappearing act.

Because that was my skill, right? Some of us got to read minds or fly at super-speed; whilst I got to cause pain to the people I loved, by being Mr. Invisible.

I'd already left her once. Twice. And now I had to do it again.

I swayed a little and had a fleeting thought that perhaps _I_ had been the one to drink too much at the reception. I made my way down the hall trying not to think hard about what would happen next. Trying not to think at all. I pushed my bedroom door roughly and it snapped open with a bang and I clattered about, grabbing a pen and paper. I knew I was being noisy but could barely hear myself; I was concentrating too hard on the paper on the desk and the pen in my hand. What do I write? _How on earth can express this feeling? _

I ignored the thoughts about how angry Max would be- how hurt and lost, how lost I'd be without her, how the last time I kissed her seemed so long ago. I ignored all memories of Max, good and bad, all my thoughts on her, my hopes, my dreams – I shut down my brain and tried to make my mind as blank as the page in front of me.

I began to write.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

'_The pen is mightier than the sword' _

**Nudge**

"Say cheeeeese!" I said giggling as Iggy, Gazzy and Angel posed in front of Angel's camera. I clicked away, enjoying being the photographer. It was way cool – kinda' like modeling! The funny thing was they all could be models – especially Max and Fang. And Dylan. Fang had left early, but the rest of the flock had flown back to our house after an _amazing_ reception party at Total and Akila's wedding. Max's Mom, Jeb, Total, Akila, Dylan and a few others had driven back so it was taking them a bit longer. I don't know why Dylan hadn't flown back with us – I mean, he had wings right?

But whatever, I'd had the most fun in weeks. Months, years, practically all my life actually. It was great, though perhaps I'd got a little more tipsy that I should have at only eleven – no twelve! – Years old. I was gonna have one hell of a headache tomorrow. But I'd worry about that later, for now I was snapping away, desperately trying to document the one time in our lives when we'd all been clean and made-up – and the one time when Max had worn a dress! She looked gorgeous. She'd had her hair pulled back and woven with tiny flowers, her skin was flawless and her eyes sparkled. Lucky schmucky.

Max had wandered off down to the boy's room and had gone very quiet. I went to go fetch her to take more pictures – she hadn't had nearly enough taken and we needed something to remind us of how pretty she looked. I swung round the doorframe, the camera dangling on a cord round my neck.

"Max, what are you doing? We're gonna take a couple more photos since we probably won't all be clean at the same time again."

I saw Max swallow and she said, her voice worried, "Is Fang out there with you guys?"

I shook my head. "No – he's not in here?"

"No. I found this." I glanced at her face – she looked upset and scared. Then my eyes dropped to her hands. Grasped tightly between her whitening knuckles, was a small envelope with her name scrawled across the front. In Fang's writing.

I felt my eyes widen "What is it?" I asked but already knowing the answer. It was a note from Fang. His second one in the space of a few days. It was a goodbye note.

Before I could say anything to Max she had begun to read aloud. And what was said just broke my heart.

So I can't imagine what it did to Max.

_Dear Max_

_You looked so beautiful today. I'm going to remember what you looked like forever. _

_And I hope you remember me the same way – clean, ha-ha. I'm glad our last time together was happy. But I'm leaving tonight, leaving the flock, and this time it's for good. I don't know if I'll ever see any of you again. The thing is Max, that everyone is a little bit right. Added up all together, it makes this one big right. Dylan's a little bit right about how my being here might be putting the rest of you in danger. The threat might have just been about Dr. Hans but we don't know that for sure. Angel is a little bit right about how splitting up the flock will help all of us survive. And the rest of the flock is a little bit right about how when you and I are together, we're focused on each other – we can't help it._

I felt myself turn bright red with guilty humiliation and I couldn't meet Max's eyes. I was at first a little surprised at our mention in the letter but then I remembered all that I'd said and done. I felt terrible about making Max leave the flock; I don't even fully know why I'd done it. And now Fang had left partly because of Angel, Iggy, Gazzy and me.

I felt divided in my emotions; half of me knew it was right that Fang was leaving, it was all for the best – Angel had explained all that to me, but the other half of me just couldn't let him go.

I remembered when Iggy had left us for his parents and we'd all felt heartbroken. And then when the flock had split in two, and when I'd traded my life with them for a few months of education. When the flock was divided it wasn't easy.

But what's easy isn't always what's right and Fang had to leave for our survival. I knew that and so did the rest of the flock.

They'd all gradually come down to see what me and Max were doing and were now standing around looking dumbstruck.

I glanced at all their faces; Gazzy looked shocked, Iggy looked angry and confused and Angel looked extremely guilty and also confused. I felt a combination of all of this and kept my teary eyes firmly focused on the ground, staring past my flushed cheeks. 

What was that saying? Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me? Right now, I disagreed whole-heartedly with it. I've had cuts and bruises and broken bones, we all have. So I know how it feels; the pain_._

Max carried on reading out Fang's letter and as she did, her voice pierced through the air and hurt my heart. It felt cold and harsh said through Max's quiet, solemn voice, and each word felt like a knife.

They caused us a lot more pain that sticks and stones would ever do.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

'_And you let you, Cause your hope is gone. And every answer fades away'_

_**Gazzy**_

I looked up at Max; the girl who'd looked after me my whole life, the girl who been tougher than any guy I knew, more loving that any Mom I'd ever had. The girl who'd always seemed so much older than me. Tears had formed in her eyes, those hurt eyes that stared disbelievingly at the piece of paper clasped in her hands.

Right now Max looked so much younger.

Iggy, Angel and I had walked into the room where Nudge and Max stood. Max looking shocked and Nudge with her hand over her mouth and tears down her cheeks. Instantly we'd known something was wrong.

We hadn't asked what it was because the letter was answer enough.

They were already part way through the letter, we'd missed some of it but I wasn't entirely sure I even wanted to hear it. Max paused, breathing shakily and the begun to again read the writing on the paper she clutched so tightly.

_You're not at your best when you're focused on me. I mean you're at your best Maxness, but not your best leaderness. I mostly need Maxness. The flock mostly needs leaderness. And Angel if you're listening to this, it ain't you sweetie. Not yet._

I was trying to avoid any eye contact with any body but I saw Angel blush. I couldn't imagine how guilty she would be feeling right now.

I felt really guilty too. Max had always been there for us, done everything she could to keep our lives safe. I thought back to when Iggy and I had teased her, and when the flock had kicked her out. I knew I was a back-stabbing, betraying, ungrateful nine year old kid and I hated myself for it.

I never knew how much I needed Max. How much I loved her, how much we all loved her.

She'd always loved us and we'd caused her all this pain.

And I didn't even know why.

Why did Angel think it was right for Fang to go? Why was Dylan here? Why was this, the best thing to do? _Why, a few weeks ago, had we made Max leave? _

Why.

I wanted answers so I carried on listening to Max reading. Even though every emotion and thought in my brain screamed at me to cover my ears and squeeze my eyes shut so I could pretend it wasn't happening. So I could pretend none of what we'd done to Max had ever happened.

But I was nine years old now, I might be ungrateful, betraying and back-stabbing but I was not a baby.

I needed my answers so I just _listened._

_At least for a couple more years, the flock needs a leader to survive, no matter how capable everyone thinks he or she is. The truth is that they do need a leader and the truth is that you are the best leader. Its one of the things I love about you._

_But the more I thought about it, the more sure I got that this was the right thing to do. Maybe not for you, or for me but for all of us together, our flock. Please don't try to find me. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, besides wearing that suit today, and seeing you again will only make it harder. You'd ask me to come back and I would because I can't say no to you. But all the same problems would still be there and I'd end up leaving again, and then we'd have to go through this all over again._

_Please make us only go through this once. _

I heard Max's voice break on the last sentence and hot tears welled up in my own eyes. Iggy looked angry and I saw Nudge shuffle closer to Max and took hold of her arm. I didn't know what to think.

_I love you. I love your smile, your snarl, your grin, your face when you're sleeping; I love your hair streaming out behind you as you fly, with the sunlight making it shine, if it doesn't have too much mud or blood in it. I love seeing your wings spreading out, white and brown and tan and speckled, and the tiny, downy feathers right at the top of your shoulders. I love your eyes, whether they're cold and calculating or suspicious or laughing or warm, like when you look at me. _

Max's face crumpled and she started crying silently, tears smudging her make-up. It hurt me to see Max, our leader, best fighter… broken. I wanted to take away her pain, like she'd done for me many times, but couldn't find the strength to. It would be impossible to heal a pain that deep and dark.

Before we could comfort Max, she begun reading again. Her voice was thick with tears and echoed around the silent room, emphasizing Fang's absence.

_You're the best warrior I know, the best leader. You're the most comforting Mom we've ever had. You're the biggest goofball, the worst driver and a truly lousy cook. You've kept us safe and provided for us, in good times and bad. You're my best friend, my first and only love, and the most beautiful girl I've seen, with wings or without. _

Max paused as she realized that we were all crying. Nudge clung onto Max as her shoulders shook in sobs and even Iggy was crying; his sightless eyes looking as if they were bleeding as the warm sunset lighting turned his tears red.

_Tell you what sweetie: if in twenty years and we haven't expired yet, and the world is still more or less in one piece, I'll meet you at the top of that cliff where we first met the hawks and learned to fly with them. You know that one. Twenty years from today, if I'm alive I'll be there waiting for you_

_You can bet on it._

_Goodbye, my love._

_Fang_

_P.S Tell everyone I sure will miss them._

She finished reading at the abrupt end. An echoing silence followed and it felt as if the world was muffled. I couldn't hear or speak or think properly.

_Why did all this happen?_

"I don't believe it." I said, when really I knew I did believe it.

I just wasn't ready to_ accept _it. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 **

'_Seeing is believing.'_

**Iggy**

"That butthead" I said, my anger evident in my voice. Nobody was screaming and yelling and crying out – though it was obvious we all wanted to be doing so. There was a silence in the room and although I couldn't see or hear anyone crying, I knew we all were.

"This is my fault" I heard Angel's small voice next to me.

"No," Max told her, "You've done a lot of asinine things, but this is not your fault."

I felt guilty about everything bad that I'd ever said and done to Max. She was the best leader we would have and we needed her. I felt angry too, at Fang for doing such a thing, in such a cruel way. We needed Max to be strong and fast-thinking. But right now, she was crushed and lost and hurt.

_Because Fang had gone._

I knew the flock wouldn't be the same without him. When I'd left the flock, my heart felt like it had been torn out. I felt lost, even more lost than I usually feel. And then when the flock had split, I'd missed everyone so bad and knew that we all felt that way. And then when Nudge had left it'd felt oddly quiet without our noisiest member.

The flock didn't function properly when anyone was missing. We needed to be all six of us, seven including Total. I knew that the flock wouldn't be the same with Max and Fang apart.

But I also knew that the flock wasn't the same when Max and Fang were together.

I didn't really know how I felt about Max and Fang, and their relationship. I guess at first I was kind of angry with them, maybe a bit jealous. Fang and I were both fourteen, physically similar and we were both people Max could trust. She could have chosen to be with either of us.

But she didn't choose me.

She chose the guy who wasn't blind, who wasn't _handicapped. _And it made me bitter. I remember how at first I'd tried to deny that there was something going on between them. I tried to hide it, tried to be oblivious to it, but I could no longer say that it was nothing when they'd kissed. I couldn't help envying them. I mean, it would be harder for me, to find someone. Who is going to want a blind mutant with wings? But neither of them has to worry about the whole wing problem seeing as they both have them, but what about me? What about Nudge? What about Angel and Gazzy? Angel and Gazzy are closest in age but they can hardly date, seeing as they're _related._ Max and Fang are sorted love-life wise, but they didn't think about the rest of us.

It's not really like I have feelings for Max or anything, I mean I like her and she's one of my best friends – its just… knowing they're together makes me feel excluded. In fact, it makes the whole flock feel excluded. And that's why one of them had to leave the flock for a while.

We'd tried making Max leave the flock but that didn't work at all. So it would have to be Fang. And we all knew this.

Even Fang, and that's why he'd left.

I suddenly felt exhausted and I sank down in the room listening to the remaining 4 people out of 5 in the world that I trusted.

More silent tears and tired sighs. I formed a picture in my head of what we all looked like right now; it was a mess.

Actually looking upon the painful scene would have made everything seem so much more real, and for now I wanted to pretend, to make myself believe that it wasn't true. Being blind made this easier.

For once in my life, I was almost glad that I couldn't see.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 **

'_Love breaks your heart, to teach you to be strong'_

**Max **

I feel like I'm going to hurl. Which, even if I wanted to, I couldn't do, because I haven't eaten. I can't even drag myself out of my room. And while I'd be able to roundhouse Fang until he begged for MERCY I'd be mush around an eraser. In fact, all I want to do is lie on this bed with our old laptop and catch up on my Hulu. Apparently, being heartbroken is not leverage enough to get Nudge to give up the NEW computer so I'm stuck with the old laptop.

But what to my wandering eyes should appear, the very moment I turn the thing on?

What did that stupid deserting crap-bag ex-boyfriend, ex-best-friend with the perfect stupid hair do? He didn't delete his crap off the desktop before he fled my life and left me alone. That's what he did.

It was all kept in a neat, private-looking little folder named 'Fangs stuff' that popped up temptingly before my eyes.

Do I open it?

Do I open it?

Of course I freaking open it!

My shaking hand double clicked on the little folder icon and my eyes hungrily scanned over the list of documents inside. I felt slightly disappointed as I quickly counted only six documents in total. I knew I should be angry at Fang for leaving his crap on the computer for everyone to see and knew that I really shouldn't read them, but to be honest I couldn't stop myself.

My heart was pounding as I opened up the first document which was labeled 'MaxProConDoc'

Ohmygod. What an actual loser. He'd gone and made a table of all the good things about me and all the _bad _things. TRAITOR.

I quickly scanned through the good things and almost smiled at what he'd written, forgetting momentarily to be pissed of with him.

I read a lot more slowly through the list of 'Cons' gasping at a few of the comments. Like the one that said 'Burps like a trucker" I do not burp like a trucker! I don't even burp in front of him! That one time where he thought he heard me burp was actually Gazzy - I swear. I mean c'mon I know I'm hardly very dainty and girly-girly, but I lack three very important things; a problem with my digestive system, the ability to voice–throw and a current obsession with burritos.

I read through all of the other documents, they were mainly blog entries that were perhaps too personal to upload onto his blog or whatever. Not like I cared.

The more I read, the more I learned about the Fang I thought I knew so well. And it made me hurt more inside than I could ever have imagined.

I tried to be strong and shut down all emotions and just read. I reread the pros and cons and fuelled myself with cold anger. I read through the blog entries. I read through the hate mail to Dylan, each word painting a picture in my head of what Fang had become. I read the draft of the letter Fang had written to me on that horrible day, and felt misery crash over me once again leaving me feeling empty and confused. I then came onto the document of questions that one of his ridiculous fans sent him.

Feeling as if I wanted to hit something, or someone, I crossed my legs and tucked them underneath me, leant back against my mouuuuntain of pillows and got ready to read.

"DO YOU HAVE A JAMACIAN ACCENT?

No, mon.

DO YOU MOLT?

Gross.

WHAT'S YOUR STAR SIGN?

Don't know. "Angel what's my star sign?" she says Scorpio.

HAVE YOU TOLD JEB I LOVE HIM YET?

No.

DOES NOT HAVING A POWER MAKE YOU ANGRY?

Well, that's not exactly true…

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THE SOULJA BOY?

Can you see me doing the Soulja boy?

DOES IGGY KNOW HOW TO DO THE SOULJA BOY?

Gazzy does.

DO YOU USE HAIR PRODUCTS?

No. Again, no.

DO YOU USE PRODUCTS ON YOUR FEATHERS?

I don't know that they make bird kid feather products yet.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE MOVIE?

There are a bunch.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE SONG?

I don't have favorites. They're too polarizing.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE SMELL?

Max, when she showers.

DO THESE QUESTIONS MAKE YOU ANGRY?

Not really.

IF I CAME UP TO YOU IN THE STREET AND HUGGED YOU, WOULD YOU KILL ME?

You might get kicked, but I'm used to people wanting me dead, so.

DO YOU SECRETLY WANT TO BE HUGGED?

Doesn't everybody?

ARE YOU SECRETLY GOING EMO AGAIN BECAUSE ANGEL IS STEALING EVERYONE'S POWERS (INCLUDING YOURS)?

Not the emo thing again.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD?

Anything hot and delicious and brought to me by Iggy.

WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING?

Three eggs, over easy. Bacon. More bacon. Toast.

DID YOU EVEN HAVE BREAKFAST THIS MORNING?

See above.

DID YOU DIE INSIDE WHEN MAX CHOSE ARI OVER YOU?

Dudes don't die inside.

DO YOU LIKE MAX?

Duh.

DO YOU LIKE ME?

I think you're funny.

DOES IGGY LIKE ME?

Sure.

DO YOU WRITE DPRESING POETRY?

No.

IS IT ABOUT MAX?

Ahh. No.

IS IT ABOUT ARI?

Why do you assume I write depressing poetry?

IS IT ABOUT JEB?

Ahh.

ARE YOU GOING TO BLOCK THIS COMMENT?

Clearly, no.

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

A Dirty Projectors T-shirt. Jeans.

DO YOU WEAR BOXERS OR BREIFS?

No freaking comment.

DO YOU FIND THIS COMMENT PERSONAL?

Could I not find that comment personal?

DO YOU WEAR SUNGLASSES?

Yes, cheap ones.

DO YOU WEAR SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT?

That would make it hard to see.

DO YOU SMOKE APPLES LIKE US?

Huh?

DO YOU PREFER BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?

Whatever.

DO YOU LIKE VAMPIRES OR WEREWOLVES?

Fanged creates rule.

ARE YOU GAY AND JUST PRETENDING TO BE STRAIGHT BY KISSING LISSA?

Uhh…

WHERE YOU EXPERIMENTING WITH YOUR SEXUALITY?

Uhh…

WOULD YOU TELL US IF YOU WERE GAY?

Yes.

DO YOU SECRETLY LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL YOU EMO?

No.

ARE YOU EMO?

Whatever.

DO YOU LIKE EGGS?

Yes. I had them for breakfast.

DO YOU LIKE EATING THINGS?

I love eating. I list it as a hobby.

DO YOU SECRETLY THINK YOU'RE THE SEXIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD?

Do you secretly think I'm the sexiest person in the whole world?

DO YOU EVER HAVE DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT MAX?

Eeek!

HAS ANGEL EVER READ YOUR MIND WHEN YOU WERE HAVING DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT

MAX AND GONE "OMG" AND YOU WERE LIKE "D:"?

Hahahahahahahahahahah.

DO YOU LIKE SPONGEBOB?

He's okay, I guess.

DO YOU EVER HAVE DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT SPONGEBOB?

Definitely.

CAN YOU COOK?

Iggy cooks.

DO YOU LIKE TO COOK?

I like to eat.

ARE YOU LIKE, A HOUSEWIFE?

How on earth could I be like a housewife?

DO YOU SECRETLY HAVE INNER TURMOIL?

Isn't it obvious?

DO YOU WANT TO BE UNDA DA SEA?

I'm unda da stars.

DO YOU THINK IT'S NOT TOO LATE, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE?

Sure.

WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO PLAY POKER?

TV.

DO YOU HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE?

Totally.

OF COURSE YOU HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE. DOES IGGY HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE?

Yes.

CAN HE PLAY POKER?

Iggy beats me sometimes.

DO YOU LIKE POKING PEOPLE, HARD?

Not really.

ARE YOU FANGALICIOUS?

I could never be as fangalicious as you'd want me to be.

I was laughing. And then I was crying, choking on my sobs, hot tears running down my face. Why the _swear-word swear-word swear-word_ did he leave?

I read through the draft of his letter. Reading the bits that he'd taken out, wondering why he had, and wondering what they meant. Feeling more confused than ever.

I flicked back to the top of the page, rereading his dumb answers to the dumb questions. I felt an immature mischievousness over come me and I welcomed it. _Anything to beat the hurt and confusion. _

I went through each of the answers and changed them, so that stupid Fang seemed even more stupid. I felt mean, but strangely it felt good too. His original answers seemed so light hearted, making our lives out to be cheerful fun all the time– what a lie.

The question about blondes and brunettes – Fang had answered 'whatever'. _Whatever? Whatever!_

Wrong freaking answer Fangy-boy!

I finished typing in the last new and improved, even-more-ridiculous-than-before answer to the questions. I opened up his blog, it was already signed in, and uploaded the entry. Just as I was about to click okay I thought of everything we'd been through together. Thought of all our memories, good and bad.

I thought of how he'd always said there was an _us. _How he'd made it seem as if he really did love me like I loved him. How he'd left me.

He said in his letter than he loved me. That doesn't change anything. He still left without even saying a proper goodbye. I still hated his guts right now whatever his stupid _drafted_ letter said, it didn't change anything. 

Red-hot anger burned up inside me - resent and rage. So what, if what I was doing was childish and mean. So what if all the sad suckers out there reading his blog saw all the horrid stuff I wrote about him. So what if everyone in the world hated him as much as I did right now. Fang deserved it.

And yet. As I moved the cursor closer to the little okay button my hand was shaking more than before.

_I couldn't do this. _

I clicked cancel and deleted the document. Everything I'd written down, every harsh and insulting word disappeared, never to be retrieved again, with the click of the small, red cross.

And with it went my guilt.

But not my anger. Not just yet.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 **

'_Have to try, to break free from the thoughts in my mind, there's a time, I can say goodbye, have to make it right.' _

**Angel.**

Today was an important day. It was the day that Max decided we needed to sort things out, for the best of the flock.

They all seemed to have forgotten how she was happy and safe with Fang when we were attacked – her absense that day could have resulted in us being badly hurt. They'd forgotten about how for some time all Max had wanted to do was get away from us. How she didn't really care for us as much as she did for Fang.

And she and the rest of the flock had recently been acting as if nothing had happened, as if we could just forget about how she'd chosen Fang over our safety and how the flock had then later chosen safety over her. They acted as if they wanted to go back to how things were before. But we all knew deep down that nothing lasts forever. We all knew that things had changed between us all and Max's mind was proof of this. Jumbled and confusing, amoungst quick and fleeting thoughts, there were traces of hurt and distrust towards the flock, as if she couldn't quite bring herself to get over what they, we, had done.

No one but me knew about this resent in Max but me and I kept it to myself. The flock seemed better without that knowledge and were getting on fine with Max again. She was speical that way, people obeyed her, listened and respected her. Forgave her instantly and loved her easily. A born leader, right? It kind of made me jealous to think that the flock had wanted her more than me , and needed her more than me. Wasn't everbody equal in our flock – wasn't each person just as important as anybody else?

Max hadn't really been speaking to me before today, or Dylan, I guess she still blamed for Fang having to leave. I'm not really that surprised. I knew that we both had made mistakes, mistakes that we couldn't afford to make again. We needed to be more than just a flock, we needed to be a family again. And to acheive this, Max and I needed to talk. I had to explain what I'd done and why I'd done it. I knew it was going to be difficult and awkward at first. But no matter how awkward, it just had to be done.

I opened my door quietly, Max directly behind me. We opened the windows wide, letting warm air and moonlight spill into the room, showering everything in creamy highlights and throwing shadows upon everything I knew, distorting them, making them unfamiliar to me. As if I hardly knew them - I felt as if I hardly knew Max.

I clambered onto my broad window ledge and swung my legs over, patting the space next to me, wordlessly indicating that Max should sit by be. She sat down gracefully, silently, her hair earning a silvery sheen to match her wings. _If only Fang were here to see how beautiful Max looks._

Max was silent and I watched her for a while. I glanced at her downturned face as she scanned the land looking anywhere but at me. _She couldn't even look at me. _ Gazing at the ground beneath her, the moon's glare made the once warm, chocolate brown of her eyes seem cold and unwelcoming. I shivered, despite the heat.

Max's head snapped up and for the first time in what felt like weeks she smiled at me. It reached her eyes and transformed her face. She stretched out one of her beautiful wings and wrapped it around me.

It was a gesture of comfort and proved to me that she still cared about me. That in some ways she was still my mother figure. I thought back to when she had last done this, back in the Itex headquarters. That seemed like a lifetime ago – back when everything was easy between me and her.

We began to talk quietly at first about unimportant things. Just enjoying the sound of her voice and her company, I almost forgot about the reason we were sitting there so late at night. Almost.

Sometimes I couldn't believe all that I had done. All that I'd said. Even though I knew that some of it was for the best.

It had all started with the voice. My voice – not Max's. It developed ages ago, when Max's mom had been kidnapped and it told me stuff. Real important stuff. It told me not to tell anyone about it, so I'd listened to it and kept my mouth shut. It told me that Max and Fang would develop gills. And what the mutants in the water were, it told me to swim with them. And I obeyed it over what Max said – I put it first because I'm a just a kid. And we all make mistakes, even those of us who aren't human.

When we got to Africa, it told me to find Jeanne. The little French girl in Chad who could heal herself. It told me all about Dr. Gunther Hagen. And most importantly it told me that Fang was going to die. I'd been scared, terrified actually, because I love Fang. But what could I do? I'd told everyone, because I actually thought that somehow telling the person who it mattered most to would make it not come true. But really all it did was make things worse – it made Max angry and she acted as if she hated me. That made me scared too. I was so scared that night; scared for Fang – and scared of Max.

The voice left me to make all my own decisions and I formed a plan. It had explained to me how making two flocks would be much better for us and for the whole world. We would have more of a chance of survival if Fang and Max were running different flocks.

I saw that Max was running the flock all wrong, making all the wrong decisions and I decided, not for the first time, that I would be better at what she did. I swore to myself long ago that I would never influence the flock with my mind powers – but to make Max leave I knew I would have to. I gently forced them to vote Max out, but actually it wasn't that hard.

We were all bitter at Max for trying to just form a sub-flock of her and Fang and it really didn't take much to persuade them into wanting her gone.

I know I seemed cold-hearted and stony in my actions. Max would know that some of the stuff I did wasn't just for the best of the flock – some things I said and did were fuelled by my rage and jealousy which I am now ashamed of, but I just had to get Max to realize that she wasn't doing what was best for all of us. I manipulated her and used her weakness. Her only weakness; her love for us. Ironic isn't it?

My initial intention was that I would take role as leader of the original flock. It worked at first, but it was never going to last, because we all needed a _real_ leader. Someone who was tough, strong, clever and most of all a good mother.

I didn't meet these criteria – so I just wasn't good enough. That plan also failed in the way that Fang followed Max and left also.

The flock needed just one of them. Not both. But also not neither.

I tried another way. To go off on my own. I wrote the letter lying about Fang being almost about to die. I really had no clue _when exactly _he was going to die. I just knew that he was.

But I wrote that in my note, to try and make him come after me. He did as planned, fearing that himself being in danger would put Max in danger also. I remember how I'd felt as pieces of my plan fell into place, triumphant without even a trace of guilt. That scared me also – how ruthless I was becoming.

But then my perfect plan started to go wrong. Max had been right from the start – she'd known the Dr Gunther Hagen had been bad news. I'd thought that what he was doing was going to help us. He'd lied and I'd believed him, my first mistake.

I'd panicked at the sight of Fang in Dr Gunther Hagen's lab, beat up and strapped to a hospital bed.

This was the second mistake.

The third was letting it go too far, waiting too long before calling Max and the flock for help.

I tried to convince myself that I had been right and Max was still wrong. But when Fang's heart gave out, it dawned on me right then that this was definitely not the way to help the flock survive.

I'd called Max and the flock and Max had managed to save him. Just.

Fang had nearly died and it was all my fault. I learned then that Max was best as leader of Nudge, Dylan, Gazzy, Iggy and I. And Fang was best as leader of another flock.

He'd gone and left, just as planned, the voice finally left me in peace too. And the rest of our flock was back together and safe. I felt guilty but I knew what I'd done was right. Right for all of us. Max and Fang together was a big fat no and it fell on me to change this.

I'd felt that although I'd broken my promise to not mess with my family's minds, and I'd screwed up pretty bad in places, I'd eventually got exactly what I wanted.

So why did I not feel content?

I knew the answer to my own question; because all I could see was the broken Max, with a hurt so deep in her eyes.

I looked at Max and the hurt was still there behind the smile. I took her hand in mine and squeezed tightly.

"Max, I… I'm so sorry about Fang. I really am. But it just had to happen, you weren't helping us Max – You weren't looking after us properly when you were with him" I said, as she froze and her eyes turned deadly serious. I suddenly became a seven-year old again. Wanting things to go back to how they were before, yet knowing that they couldn't.

She didn't speak so I carried on. "Max, I can never explain in words what I did and why I did it. It would never come out right and you would never understand. So instead I'm going to show you." I took her other hand as well and placed both her fingertips against my temples.

Her fingers felt like cold marble against my skin and I winced as I begun to go back through every thought and emotion I'd had in the past few weeks and sent them into Max's mind. Hoping, praying, that she would understand that it was for the best. That it had to be.

And that I still loved her no matter what.

After what seemed like hours she gently removed her fingers from my head and I felt empty as if I wanted to cry. I knew instantly that Max would still be doubtful – and that even though _I know _what I did was for the best, she wouldn't be quiet ready to agree. There would still be a part of her that would always secretly hate me for what I did.

Max sighed, her face unreadable. Expressionless - her clenched fists and tightened jaw muscles were the only tell tale signs that she was still upset. I tried to read her mind…_and couldn't. _It was solid, like a brick wall of resistance.

Her head snapped up and her eyes locked on mine. "Angel." She said in a low voice. "Please don't read my mind or try to understand what I'm going through. My pain is too huge; you shouldn't have to deal with it. But I.. I'm sorry as well. I'm sorry for many, many things Ange. I'm sorry that I don't agree with you saying that everything you did was right. And that I still can't trust you, I'm sorry that you still can't trust me and I'm sorry for every mistake I've ever made with you Angel. But – what happened to …?" I didn't want to hear anymore, as childish tears welled up in my eyes. She stopped abruptly as I pressed something into her palm.

She gasped and turned over the necklace in her hand. It was the necklace that I'd given her weeks ago. A good luck charm, the one that Fang had the other half to – a necklace that she never wore anymore.

She slowly put it around her neck but as I looked upon her, my eyes held a question.

_Do you understand now?_

She nodded. We would never be the same again – she would never trust me like she used to. But like I said, she knew that nothing lasts forever and some things in our lives just had to change. Though she would never fully forgive me, she understood.

She turned, smiled a sad smile and I wrapped my small arms around her and didn't want to ever let go.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7– Do you really want to live forever? **

_Forever young, I want to be forever young, forever young; do you really want to live forever? _

**Dylan **

I sat down on the couch next to Iggy. He grinned and said "Hey, Dyl."

I grinned back and said, "How you do that is beyond my understanding, how do you know it's me?"

"Each person has a different footstep and a different smell." He replied matter of factly, though anyone could tell he was proud of how strong his other senses were. "Angel skips and scurries, Gazzy and Nudge stomp and you sort of.. shuffle."

I laughed as Nudge walked in muttering "I heard that."

She plunked down onto one of our numerous arm chairs. Jeb walked in, holding Angel's hand. Gazzy was not far behind.

They were just so cute, each one of them beautiful and perfect. Even Angel was stunningly beautiful.

Though no one I'd ever seen could compare to Max.

I looked around the room at everyone. My new family. We were the new flock weren't we?

Everyone knew that I didn't agree with Dr Gunther Hagen's views, and they knew I was in the same situation as them. I was a 'good guy', right? And yet I was still slightly surprised and pleased by how they all accepted me and trusted me so quickly. Well, nearly all.

Max still didn't seem to. For reasons unknown to me.

"Where's Max?" I asked. Iggy shrugged at the same time Angel said "In her room."

"Hey Jeb, can we all go flying for a bit, I want to practice." I asked

He nodded and told us to be back by seven, which gave us 45 minutes to fly around for a bit. I loved flying with the flock. It was when I felt most comfortable, most natural despite the fact I was still a pretty lousy flyer.

I walked, or shuffled according to Ig, to Max's room and knocked on the door. She opened the door and said "Oh. It's you. What do you want?"

She didn't sound unkind, just kind of confused.

I smiled and said "You wanna come flying with us?"

She hesitated and tucked a piece of her feathery hair behind her ear. "Umm… I think I'll pass for today, thanks." She studied me carefully for a moment, as she had been doing a lot recently. I guess she still hadn't forgotten about how I'd decided I didn't want to live anymore. I was about to say something when she gently shut the door. She shut me out.

She'd never turned down flying before. It felt like a slap in the face. Flying was something that the whole flock had to do together. Something I'd done with them all since I'd known them. Though now I thought about it, we weren't all here. Fang was still gone. But he was going to stay gone and Max needed to let him go.

I turned around as the smile vanished from my face. I walked to our veranda and took off after the others into the twilight sky.

I suddenly felt immeasurably sad and I turned to watch the flock fly, getting lost in the rhythm of flying. I watched how they turned and steered so effortlessly. I watched how their faces glowed as they soared through the empty skies and did what we were born to do.

_Max, why are you missing this?_

I understood fully why Fang had said he'd rather die before Max. A world without Max wouldn't be worth living in. I thought about life and death. Max had hated the thought of him dying. I hated the thought of Max dying. Max still loved Fang so much and that hurt with every breath, every moment I was alive. But the pain would be so much worse if I was dead – in a world where there was no Max. I wanted to live if Max lived, to die if she died – I wanted to go wherever she went.

My death means nothing. Living forever would mean nothing to me if she wasn't there with me.

While I was alive, I wanted her alive too. Without fang, Max seemed to be fading. She was still moving, breathing and thinking, but her life, her energy and light seemed to have been extinguished by Fang. She was dying inside.

My chest felt hollow as I visualized Max's face in my mind. The curve of her neck, the smooth skin of her cheek and the silvery sheen of her feathers in the morning sunlight. She was so stunningly beautiful and I knew that I loved her.

I knew I would never try and end my life – for I'd found something worth living for.

Max, beautiful Max.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 **

'_Let your hopes go, and they'll survive, 'cause this is the future, and you are alive.'_

**Max**

I sat on my bed reading the letter. With the door locked and the lights off. The only way I could read it was because of the small trail of sunlight visible through the gap in my curtains. I hadn't eaten in a day, which is a big thing for me. I hadn't slept either. I hadn't even left my room.

His words kept swirling around in my head like leaves falling to the ground. Nothing made sense to me anymore, except his words. They hurt me each time I read them, but I just couldn't stop reading them.

I folded the paper up once. And again. And again. As many times as I could, as if folding it would make everything bad just go away. But no matter how many times I folded the paper, the words still showed through, as if each carefully phrased sentence pierced right through the paper. Like they'd pierced through my heart.

I held it now in the palm of my hand, small and crumpled. It was creased and stained but I kept it. I couldn't let it go. Couldn't let him go either. I curled under my covers into a fetal position and wanted to stay there. I felt drowsy but there was no way I could get to sleep.

Four days it's been. Four days far too long without him. It surprised me how weak I'd gotten in such a short time – such a wuss I'd become, but I felt an odd sensation – almost despair as if it was too late to ever go back to my old self. Suddenly I was interrupted in my musings with a loud knock on my door and no other than super-boy number two popped his perfect little head in my room. Clearly the lock on the door was not a good enough defense for him – I would have to get that sorted out.

I blinked fuzzily at him and he smiled sympathetically, what was with him and all his smiles?

"Maybe you should get up soon. Go out for a bit." He said.

"Bite me." I mumbled. Angel poked her head of blonde curls round the doorframe also.

"Come on – you must be starving." Eventually after persuasion, bribery and a combination of the two, they managed to get me out of the warm, stuffiness of my bed and …into the warm stuffiness of the hot summer air. Great.

Nudge kindly stripped my bed and put it in the washer, I smiled gratefully at her.

But everyone could tell I wasn't really with it.

"You, missy, need to get out." Angel said hands on her hips and a mock stern look on her face.

"Missy?" I said raising my eyebrows as Dylan handed me a glass of water. I gulped it down, not realizing how thirsty I'd been, and immediately I felt better. Marginally.

The whole flock and Dylan were looking expectantly at me.

I went and sat down in the living room. They followed as if I was bow peep and they were the sheep. As if.

"Are you okay Max?" Gazzy asked, a worried expression on his face.

I nodded, thinking sluggishly, how terrible I must have looked. I craned my neck to glance at myself in one of the massive mirrors we have hanging on the wall. Oh, the vanity of a fashion challenged bird-kid with bad hair.

And what I saw did not make me any happier, let me tell you. The ghostly figure that looked back at me needed a few good nights sleep. And a run in with a hair brush. I had big circles under my eyes and my skin had turned a sort of dull gray.

"What a mess," I muttered, shaking my head of matted hair.

Nudge rolled her eyes "You look fine." What lies.

"You always look fine, Max." Dylan said, with such intensity in his voice that I actually paused to look at him.

"Max what happened to you?" Nudge said accusingly, suddenly turning unexpectedly angry.

"_What?" _I turned to her incredulously.

"Look around!" she said angrily, waving her arms in an un-Nudge-like manner. "This house is a mess, because you haven't been around to run things."

Her face softened and her eyes turned pleading. "Max, we need you, we need you to lead us. You're the best leader, the only leader. Please. You need to let go of the past."

I suddenly felt anger fire up hot in my veins. I shot up out of the sofa, my face red. I noticed Gazzy and Angel shrinking away from me. They were scared of me.

_What had I become? _

I sank back down, wide eyed and all my anger dissolved. I thought about the past few days. I'd done nothing to help them. They'd all been hurt by his disappearance too and all I'd cared about was myself. Nudge was right.

I put my face in my hands, wanting to cry but no tears would come out.

"I'm sorry." I muttered into my fingers, totally ashamed of myself. "I've been so selfish. I'm so, so sorry."

"That's okay Max," Gazzy patted my hand and Iggy nodded. "Just please don't do that again. We were worried about you. You wouldn't come out and when you did you were like a zombie. But we still need you Max and you're still the best person to be the leader. Whatever happens Max we still need you around." His eyes were big and blue and honest, and my heart melted.

I gathered the Gasman into my arms and hugged him. Then I hugged them all, even Iggy. He was not really the huggy type but I owed it to him because he and Dylan had been looking after the kids. _Dylan. _

I'd forgotten that he was standing there and suddenly felt self-conscious about the state I was in. Which was totally stupid because, why should I care what he thought of me?

I looked at him and actually smiled. He smiled back but his expression said _what? I don't get a hug?_

"We're going on a picnic." Angel said firmly to break the slightly awkward silence between me and him. "I want to pick strawberries today and if you make cake, I can make strawberry shortcakes."

I froze and looked at Angel. Her expression was slightly sad and her tone chilled me. It was almost the exact phrase she'd said to me all those months ago when the erasers had first taken her back at the old house. Back before our lives had completely turned upside down. The strong sense of déjà vu returned and if it was Angel's intention to wake me up, it sure worked. I felt alert and awake and as if I could punch someone. Preferably a certain someone who'd lead me on, lied to me, broke my heart and left without saying good bye. Any names come to mind?

I shook my head after a while and said "Does that include me?"

"Yup." Angel said popping the 'P' and grinning. I couldn't help grinning back but the feeling of déjà vu had freaked me just a little. "Oh and Max, your Mom and Ella are coming too."

After I stashed the letter somewhere no one would ever find it, I decided to sort myself out. I took a long, extremely hot shower and emerged with combed out hair and skin that now showed that I was at least _alive. _So it was an improvement. The weather outside was hot, so I put on thin black leggings and a big baggy tee. Leaving my hair wet, I pulled it back into a loose ponytail. It was getting long again, so I make a mental note to make an excursion to the hair dressers. Or I could just hack it all off with a pair of scissors. Nearest hair dressers or nearest pair of scissors – it really made no difference to me.

I quickly checked myself in the mirror as I left the bathroom. I looked okay, I guess. Better than before anyway. I felt better - freer again and I couldn't wait to hit the skies.

We all flew to the picnic spot where we met my Mom and Ella and I realized I'd forgotten how amazing flying was. I think that not flying for all that time was what really made me dead inside. I was born to fly and I promised myself I would never ever go that long without flying. Or let myself get into that state of mind. Ever.

I liked the feel of the wind on my back and the hot sun drying my hair.

We landed and I felt a huge smile split my face, the whole flock saw it and looked utterly relieved.

"Woah. The sun has come out and Max is smiling!" Total said a grin on his furry face and I scooped him up, moving my face tactfully out of licking reach. Everyone laughed and even Total smiled as he rolled his eyes.

I realized how close they'd been to losing me as I fell further and further into depression.

But I was better now wasn't I? All better.

I smiled and laughed the whole time and never let anyone out of my sight. I thought back to when the flock had made me leave and how much that had hurt. It made me realize how much I loved them, and how close _I'd _been to losing _them_ too.

I think I was even beginning to relax a little more around Dylan. It was so hard not to, what with his charm and easy personality. I even let him sit next to me and fly with me. Which is a big step up from totally ignoring him and not even looking at him.

I'd blamed him for Fang leaving and hated him for replacing him. But as Angel said, 'it had to be so' and I was beginning to understand why.

Fang and I couldn't be together. End of.

I think the heart to heart with Angel the other night helped a lot also. Now that I understood that most of the stuff she'd truly done was to help me, and not to hurt me, I felt I could almost trust her again.

It must have taken a lot of courage to show me the entire contents of her mind. She didn't hold back at all and I saw everything, every thought she'd ever had and I knew that she really did love me. The image of her holding a gun flashed in my mind but then I felt the reassuring coolness of the snake jaw necklace pressing against my collar bone. If I could get over the bad stuff she'd done and concentrate on the fact that she'd helped me.. in a sort of backwards and messed up way, then it might one day feel as if I could trust her. However for now, although I hadn't totally forgiven her, it felt in a way as if I'd got my Angel back, _my baby_, and I couldn't get enough of her.

We spent the day chatting and eating and when we got home, I felt more like myself than I had in weeks. I practically skipped around the house, accidentally bumping into Iggy.

He held up his hands to steady me and laughed. "I see you're back to your old self."

Jeb strolled through the door and smiled at me, "Max, you're feeling better."

I hesitated but then, surprising both me and Jeb, I smiled and nodded. Jeb looked pleased and relieved, but I didn't stay long to chat. Although he'd taken a bullet for us and currently wasn't acting evil and/or suspicious, I still wasn't sure what role he played in my life. Whether he was going to make it up to me, or hurt me again worse than before. It was going to take a lot more than that for me to put myself in the position where my heart could be broken by him yet again.

Mom and Ella stayed for dinner and Iggy showed me how to make a pasta bake and it was actually quiet good. (If I say so myself). We then all curled up on the big sofas in our living room and watched a movie. I tried my best to ignore the problems in my life and with my family, so I could enjoy the movie. And right then and there I felt as if I, myself was in a movie with happy families, happy endings etc.

My Mom and half-sister were safe, my flock was all safe and happy, Jeb wasn't acting evil (which actually means nothing really) and the huge gaping wound between me and Angel was slowly healing up. We were on the mend, weren't we? My life was finally starting to look up again.

That is, until it all came crashing down as soon as I walked into my room and saw the hiding place where I'd stashed the letter.

I'd hidden the letter behind a lath in the wall. A similar spot to where I'd found Gazzy's baby photograph in the squatter's flat. My life was just one mesh of loops and circles and Déjà vu wasn't it?

I ripped it from out of the wall and before I knew what I was doing, I tore it in two. Then four. Then eight. But that wasn't enough.

_I had to get rid of it. _

I gathered up the pieces – the writing was no longer legible on the paper that was the source of all my pain.

I could never read it again and strangely I didn't want to.

But still the letter, or what was left of it, had to go.

I stormed through the kitchen where Jeb and Mom were sitting, talking quietly. Jeb stood up abruptly, his chair screeching along the floor in protest. I ignored the noise.

I ignored my Mom as she asked me what was wrong, I pretended not to see both of their worried faces.

I grabbed what I was looking for from one of the numerous cupboards. A box of matches.

I practically sprinted back into my room and flung open the windows. I roughly lit the match and set alight the scraps of the letter. They caught easily in the dry air and I pushed them off into the evening sunset. The burning shreds fell slowly, gently - twisting and distorting in the air like autumn leaves.

They burned down to ash before they even reached the ground.

I sat back with grim satisfaction and felt a cold hand rest reassuringly on my elbow.

"Max, what are you doing?" Mom asked.

"Letting go of the past." I replied.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 **

'_Let go, oh well, watcha waiting for, it's alright, because there's beauty in the breakdown. _

**Valencia Martinez**

_Oh Max. _I studied her face and looked in her eyes.

I thought back to the night when I'd told her that there were others kinds of pain besides physical. There were tears in my eyes because of the lost expression on her face. I felt strangely responsible for her pain, as if warning her all those weeks ago had made it all come true.

I wanted to make everything right for her. I wanted to banish all her pain. That's what Mom's were for, right? So why was I suddenly totally lost for words?

"Max what happened after Fang left?" I asked quietly.

She shrugged "I love him," she said simply, in a voice I had to strain to hear "so when he left I felt like he'd taken a part of me with him. The letter – the … it just made it worse. That's why I…" she trailed off and I saw the dying sunset glistening in her eyes.

Max hardly ever cried.

I ignored the lump in my throat and nodded my understanding; Angel had told me about how Max had almost entered serious depression and how she'd read the letter every day and every night.

There was silence and she took a deep breath.

"I burned the letter so I could let it go. But I know each word like they're engraved on my heart."

"Can you let him go?" I asked in a whisper, needing to ask but not wanting her to break down again.

She turned to me, and I noticed how shockingly beautiful she looked. Beautifully sad.

Her look was so open and honest, and I got a glimpse of what she was experiencing. Despite the fact that Max was my biological daughter, I didn't truly know her. I knew the human part of her but there was something deeply mysterious about her.

All of them in the flock were different and no one else would ever fully understand them. Or what they had been through.

It was at times like this that I felt most out of touch with my own daughter, and as if I couldn't relate to her, because I was only human and she was so much more.

I was no psychologist so I didn't know exactly how she was feeling, but I understood about birds because I was a vet. Max loved Fang in a similar was to how all birds love for life, they _imprint_. She loved him fiercely - they should have been paired for the rest of their existence. I couldn't begin to comprehend the cruelty that they should be separated so early on in their lives.

There no was no way she could ever get over him. It was just in her nature.

I hugged her tightly to me. By now the others had come to see what the commotion was about.

I let Max go and she swayed slightly. Panicking, I steadied her arm. With everyone crowding in her room the air was stuffy and she looked as if she could hardly breathe.

"I'm fine." She assured me and I exchanged glances with Angel who looked uncharacteristically grim. "I just need to go flying for a while. Flying always helps."

And boy, did Max need help right now.

Ella patted her hand, "Are you sure you're okay?" Max nodded and then she asked everyone if it was ok with us if she left for a few hours.

We all said it was, but Dylan shook his head and grabbed her gently by the hand.

Max frowned, but he persisted "Max, let me come with you. Just to make sure you're okay."

"I don't need you - I can look after myself, thanks." She replied in a steely tone, as she tugged her hand away.

With that, she turned, leapt agilely onto the window ledge and took off powerfully into the evening air. Dylan remained looking uncertain, so I turned to him and said

"Don't worry about her. She's Max - tough as nails. She'll be fine."

He frowned and said unconvincingly "Well, okay then."

"Don't go after her." Iggy warned and I nodded in agreement.

Dylan paused, smiled half-heartedly and said "I won't, don't worry."

But the thing with Dylan was that he hadn't yet learned to lie well. I could see right through it and I knew that soon after he would be following Max into the dark sky night.

But there was nothing I could do to stop him.

He had every right to fly. I couldn't hold back a creature I didn't understand, a creature that yearns for the freedom of the skies.

After all, I was only human.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 **

'_Tread water, fighting for the air in your lungs. Move, move closer, maybe you can right all your wrongs.'_

**Max**

"Don't worry about her. She's Max. She'll be fine."

_Damn right I will be. _Due to my enhanced hearing I could hear the flock discussing me even after I left.

I sighed. I knew Dylan would still come after me. But the thing is I don't need anyone to help me – I never have and I'm not going to start needing anyone anytime soon. And that's that.

I decided to lose this place. I poured on the speed and knifed through the air, the wind streaming through my hair and making my eyes water.

Flying helps. Flying helps a lot.

I went further and further out, leaving my world behind and I felt much better. _Let's see Dylan do that!_

I flew round for ages, liking the feeling of not knowing where I was, and then without warning dove down in to the nearby huddle of fir trees and still using my super speed, I swung onto a narrow branch near the top. I misjudged the landing, skidded, but quickly transformed it into a graceful loop, and spun around the branch like they do in cartoons, acting as if I'd meant to do that. My swift maneuver landed me on the branch just below.

And who should I see, sitting on that very branch, smug and unruffled, without a hair out of line?

Yep, you guessed it.

Dylan.

"Afternoon." I said weakly.

"Nice landing, by the way." He chuckled to himself. "Very smooth." I scowled at him, not caring about the fact that most girls would throw themselves at his feet, whilst I was scrunching up my face and making it very clear that I would do anything but.

I rolled my eyes as Dylan went on conversationally "So what you up to all the way out here then, Max?"

"Trying to be alone" I replied curtly. He opened his mouth, but I never got to hear what he said because without saying goodbye, I zipped off into the sky and flew like I'd never flown before.

I had one chance to glance back and I saw Dylan shaking his head. I couldn't tell if he was angry or not. I hoped he was.

Yeah, throwing myself at guys' feet – not really my style at all.

When I'd thought I'd finally lost him, I swooped silently down, and instead of trying to land in another tree, I settled for a running stop in a wide clearing smack dab in the middle of a huge forest.

This time I couldn't stop my jaw dropping. _How the heck did he get here faster than I did?_

Dylan was here, one step a head of me. _Again!_

There was no way that he could fly faster than me, it was impossible – unless he had super speed.

Which is still totally unlikely (and not to mention would suck big time.)

I narrowed my eyes at him as he emerged from behind a thick trunk. "OK, this is getting old now." I said.

He regarded me silently, daring me to ask him how he flew here faster than I did. Because he thought, what? That I'd surrender my pride and give in to my curiosity and _ask him_? As if.

"How did you do it?" I blurted out. Well, so much for that then. That's me, smooth ol' Max.

"How did I do what? Follow you?"

I snorted, "Following someone generally involves _behind_ someone, you always get there before me. How d'ya do it? " I demanded.

"Max, remember - I can see far off things - things that are going to happen. I knew, before you even set off, where you were going to fly to. I flew straight there and waited for you whilst you flew took a long time to get there."

"I did not take a long time to get here!" I said indignantly.

"No, no I didn't mean that you flew slowly; I only meant that you flew around a lot before you came here. You went the long way round."

"If you could see that I would eventually end up _here_, why did you bother flying all the way to the first place?" I asked sourly.

He showed his white teeth in a big grin. "I didn't want to miss your spectacular landing."

I resisted the urge to punch his arm, and couldn't help noticing that he was acting and sounding more and more like my _Ex_-Boif, Mr. Strong and Silent. Which now I think about it was probably his intention. God, guys sometimes.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "So you gonna give up anytime soon?"

"No." My eyes stayed narrowed. _Wrong answer._

"Well, guess what - neither am I!" I yelled and took off at full sprint through the trees. And this time I laughed out loud because, turns out I can _run _with super speed as well.

Bet he didn't see that happening!

After running for a bit, my feet aching and out of breath, I turned down what looked like a footpath and bumped straight into him again. I screamed in frustration. I was getting sick of this.

"Why do you feel the need to piss me off?" I yelled at him, causing some startled birds to fly off.

He shrugged looking calm and cool as a cucumber, whilst I was standing there sweating and panting.

"Can't you just leave me the hell ALONE!" My voice echoed in the woods and Dylan then looked as if he'd been slapped in the face.

He said in a quiet voice, "Max, _I _would never leave you."

Now it was my turn to feel like I'd been slapped in the face. What? Was he referring to how _Fang _had left me?

I wordlessly turned on my heel and ran away yet again. There was no doubt that he'd be waiting for me in the next place but to be honest I really didn't care – I just had to get away from him _right now_.

I'd been running for ages in a labyrinth of trees, positive I was going around in circles. I was no longer out of breath, my feet no longer in pain. I was tripping lightly over ivy and tree stumps, as if I was walking on air. Or underwater.

Everything felt surreal, I could barely hear but I could see everything in sharp definition and in colors I never knew existed. Running through the woods that night felt like a dream. I was suddenly burning up and was certain that if I had looked into a mirror right then, I would have seen the eraser Max.

Everything felt wrong, I could hardly breathe. My mind was spinning, or was it me that was spinning? I could no longer even tell which way was up or down.

Muffled and shrouded in a mist, my footfalls were the only sound. I concentrated on the black crows burnt against a blacker sky.

Suddenly my world was tipping over as if I was freefalling from a great height. I felt like I was reaching out to the highest sky and the deepest sea at the same time. And I was being tugged under a huge choking wave of nothingness.

Fang's voice was reading the letter to me loud and clearly. _Was I finally losing it?_

I felt my head hit the ground but could feel no pain from it. Just cold realization. I blinked and realized I was crying. How odd.

A split second before my world turned black, I saw very clearly two shoes and a pair of dark-jeaned legs. _Fang?_

But I knew those shoes. They belonged to Dylan. He'd found me - again.

Then I was pulled down into black. But I was smiling into the hard ground. 

When I came around again I was flying but not of my own accord, someone was carrying me.

I opened my eyes wide trying to jerk into a flying stance, only to be held tightly but not uncomfortably by strong hands. I looked straight up into big and earnest, blue eyes. Deeper than Angel's, darker than Iggy's.

My eyes strayed to the face that the eyes belonged to. It was Dylan. _Who else?_

"Afternoon." He said dryly, ironically repeating what I'd said earlier. Ohh, wasn't he just hilarious?

"Something tells me, it's not afternoon any longer."

He looked around him at the dark sky and then down at me, "Yeah, you're right."

"Put me down. Please." I asked. Well, ordered actually. Though I realized that he'd be flying _and _carrying me – hard work for someone who hadn't known how to fly for very long. But now I actually looked, Dylan was no longer a lousy flyer. He was a quick learner, I'll give him that.

He let me go and I flew ahead easily. He looked surprised, so I scowled and flew ahead of him muttering something along the lines of "Can't we just get home now?"

I don't do damsel in distress well.

"Don't get a thank you?" An annoying voice buzzed in my ears.

"What?" I snapped.

"If I hadn't been there, you would have fainted there all by yourself."

"Yeah, but how long did it take for me to come around?" I said, finding it annoying how he patronized me and made me seem pathetic.

Dylan frowned seeing where this was going, "About 10 minutes… but still, you could have got hurt if I hadn't come to make sure you were okay."

"I did get hurt," I said angrily gesturing to a lump on my head where I'd banged it and scratches on my arms from brambles. "And it was _because _you came to 'make sure I was okay'. It was _because _you came that I actually passed out! So don't go saying that you saved me or whatever – I would have been just fine without you, as I said before hand. So in future, just leave me be. I don't need you, much less want you around." My voice was raising and I just wanted to go home and collapse in my bed and sleep for, like, a day. I really hate when people make me seem weak. Hate it.

I flew off leaving a dumbstruck Dylan behind. I was confused and angry and the last thing I needed was Dylan being all 'I told you so' etc. Plus he was starting to act in some ways worryingly like Fang and if he thought that was going to make me like him more, he was so, so wrong.

I flew in through the open window and Nudge greeted me by handing me a glass of water.

I sucked it down in record timing. When I'd finished I turned to Nudge who was yawning like there was no tomorrow and asked her what the time was.

"Past midnight." She shrugged one shoulder.

I nodded. "Thanks for waiting up for me. Where's Mom?"

"She left ages ago, she was bummed that she couldn't say goodbye. I think she assumed you would only be gone for like an hour; but she and Ella had to get back. You were out there for over three hours you know." She paused "What were you doing?"

"Long story. CBA to explain." She nodded as right on cue Mr. Perfect flew in, only he was looking a little less smug and cool. Red in the face and looking upset, he said "Max – why did you-"

I cut him off, "I just want this day to end." And walked silently to my room and shut the door.

I leaned up against my door and sighed. I heard Dylan say to Nudge, "I'm just…so - confused."

Right then, I so related.


End file.
